


First String and Single

by bgoodg



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men Evolution
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Binge Drinking, College Football, Gen, Underage Drinking, Women Being Awesome, Women in sports, fuck the patriarchy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgoodg/pseuds/bgoodg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lead by All-American quarterback Jean Grey, defensive powerhouse Emma Frost and coached by the chessmaster Coach Darkholme (nicknamed Mystique from her playing days), the Xavier Mutants are poised for an undefeated season on the way to the college football National Championship. If only, they can get past their in-state rivals the Stark University Avengers. </p><p>And get sober in time for the game.</p><p>Frat parties, mascot stealing, and unhealthy amounts of drinking. Onward Xavier!</p><p>Alternate title was Johnny Manziel Got Nothin' on Me</p>
            </blockquote>





	First String and Single

**Author's Note:**

  * For [junebug_waltz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junebug_waltz/gifts), [berserkide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/berserkide/gifts).



> None of these characters belong to me.
> 
>  
> 
> **Always remember to drink responsibly.** And don't sign autographs for money when you're a college athlete.

"That just ain't right." Rogue stares at the debacle in front of her with a mixture of shock and double vision drunkenness.

At three a.m. Rogue is the only co-ed walking along Xavier's Square. On the cusp between Wednesday and Thursday, there's no nerds heading to the library, starry-eyed couples making out or lone freshmen expelling their stomach and parent's tuition into the finely trimmed shrubs. Wednesday is only for dedicated party goers. And as star Safety, Rogue couldn't miss a Omega Zi Phi fraternity party: she has a reputation to maintain. 

The fact that Remy LeBeau happened to be a fraternity member hadn't entered Rogue's mind at all.

Rogue will blame Remy however, for walking across the quad at ass o'clock in the morning instead of cramming together on Remy's dorm bed.

Rogue manages to compose a mass text, the buttons all blurry and changing places, and hits send all. It takes only a few minutes for the rest of the team to make their way to the quad from the Omega Zi Phi house. Rogue stays where she stands, phone in one hand and beer in the other.

There's silence as her teammates gradually come upon the damage. Some curse while others mutter prayers under their breath. Silence falls as their star quarterback and first round pick contender, Jean Grey makes her way to the scene of the crime.

"Avengers," Jean spits out like a swig of domestic lite.

"Those bastards," Jubillee adds. Her yellow coat is pulled tight and she looks ready to tackle whoever is responsible.

"Is there nothing that is scarred to those monsters?" Orroro asks. She's missing a shoe but doesn't seem to mind.

At Xavier University, the Xavier monument is universally known as "that giant X thing we're not to throw up on, on pain of disembowelment by the football team." It's a twisting metallic structure that looks oddly out of place within the manicured lawns and red brick buildings of the prestigious university. In 1910 the monument was built by the booster club to commemorate the football team's first winning season. Since the statue's completion it's tradition for football players to touch or pat the X on their way to the stadium or team bus. But now, the bottom cement stand remains, the plaque celebrating the victorious season still bolted down, but the giant twisted X is nowhere to be seen. There's tire tracks in the grass that almost certainly lead 35 miles north to their in-state rivals Stark University.

"What do we do Jean?" It's Tabitha who asks. She's a brash freshmen with interception numbers that make other parts of her personality more tolerable.

In times like these, a team looks to their leader for guidance. An all American quarterback with the accuracy to throw a football through a tire swing at 50 yards, Jean Grey also carries a perfect 4.0. Her high school sweetheart Scott Summers followed her to Xavier University and became head cheerleader. Jean is sickening in her perfection but the team is 10-0 and in the mix for the BCS Championship: a lot can be forgiven if they play in New Orleans for the crystal trophy.

"We inform Dean Xavier and Assistant Dean Lensheer and let them deal with replacing the monument," Jean says.

In times like these, when your leader wimps out because she's one of those assholes who believes in rules, a team looks to their defensive leader for guidance.

Emma Frost, NCAA sack record holder, steps forward and announces, "We're going to fuck some shit up."

 

* * *

 

The night started off well enough. Omega Phi Zi is known for their quality co-eds and ability to smuggle in the best booze. It's a little too chilly to enjoy their abundant backyard and swinging hammocks but quite a few undergrads attempt to keep warm through friction.

Rogue walks in around 9pm. She would have been there earlier but her mom called and wanted to talk about last weeks game and how she should really step up her pass rush defense. There's a reason the Mississippian is going to school in New York instead of Ole Miss.

Two steps inside of the house and there's a beer pushed into her hand by a pretty blond thing Rogue vaguely recognizes from her economics class. Rogue, like all the other football players, has a nerd that actually does her homework. For appearances sake she attends class roughly every other day; although her seats are always in the back where she can catch a nap before afternoon practice. Rogue smiles at the blond, taking a drink of beer before heading deeper into the fraternity house to find her teammates.

"Hey hooker," Tabitha says with a wave. "What took you so long?" She's standing with Jean, Wanda and Jubilee in a prime spot next to the bar.

"Family business," Rogue says. "Come on, who's doing shots? I need to catch up with Ororo."

Their star running back is currently standing on a table, swaying back and forth to 50 Cent. In both of Ororo's hands are solo red cups that she sips from whenever she needs to hydrate.

"Shots!" Wanda triumphantly declares and holds up a bottle of whipped cream vodka with some disposable shot glasses. Omega Zi Phi really does think of everything.

Rogue grabs the closet glass, holding it up when it's apparent Wanda wants to make a toast.

"To being first string and single," Wanda crows.

There's a chorus of agreement before the shots are thrown back. Rogue takes three more before changing back to beer.

"Speaking of being single," Jubilee asks Rogue, "what's with you Remy?"

Rogue groans and takes a sip. "Right now we're on a break."

"So he's free?" Tabitha asks with obvious interest. 

"No," Rogue says. "We're just on a break from being boyfriend and girlfriend. We can still sleep together. We just can't sleepover at the other's dorms. Both of our roommates have issued complaints with our RAs anyway." 

"You two are crazy," Wanda says although she has no room to speak considering she dated a townie who actually called himself Vision last year.

Rogue and Remy have known each other since freshmen year when a 9 a.m. class had them both mainlining coffee and cursing the sun. Being southerners in a land of Yankees was enough to start a friendship. Of course it wasn't much time before friendship turned into raucous sexcapades that had them banned from the library. It's all right; Rogue just sends her nerd and Remy's too attractive to fail. For the past three years they've had an on again off again romance that's set fire to two motorcycles, three front lawns and a rat pinata that wasn't Rogue's fault. Being with Remy makes her crazy. He quite literally drives her to distraction which is something she can't afford during football season. 

"What about Pietro?" Jubilee asks. "I'd tap that."

"No one sleeps with my brother," Wanda says, each word coming out like a campus policeman's warning. 

Rogue almost feels bad for Pietro. He's good looking in a Draco Malfoy type of way but his dad is the Assistant Dean and his sister stabs people who sit too close to him; poor pretty boy is going to get through college with only the comfort of his own hand.

"I certainly don't envy you girls," Jean says with a smile. "I can't imagine being in the dating world again."

There's copious eye rolling and mumblings to die in a fire that are squashed by taking long drinks from their respective cups.

"I don't know how you can stand being attached to one guy," Wanda counters. "Aren't you promised to each other or some bullshit?"

Jean holds up her throwing hand which shows a small silver band. "He gave it to me senior year of high school. I told him I didn't want to get married though until I'm drafted. It's scientifically proven that unmarried prospects go higher than married ones."

"I don't think you know what science is," Rogue says before being interrupted by Jubilee.

"But that's like committing yourself to one dick for the rest of your life. I'm sure it's a nice dick and all but it's still just some dude's dick. I can't say I see the appeal." Jubilee starts swaying on her feet as soon as she's finished talking. Her face goes green before she crashes face first onto the floor. There's a beat of silence before she gives a thumbs up and the group continues talking.

"As I was saying," Rogue says. "Jean, congratulations on your long term romance that I'm sure won't end with him having an affair with the pool boy." She does a quick mock cheer with her red cup before leaving the group and looking for better conversation. She tells herself she's not looking for auburn hair or listening for a New Orleans drawl. Rogue wanders around the house, talking to classmates, challenging Psylocke to beer pong (not her best decision) and making out with Remy for a bit before he comes up with some bullshit excuse about having class in the morning.

Dejected and already a little hungover, Rogue finds herself stumbling across the quad in the early morning and finds the defaced monument. Remy's dick may be nice but with a stolen campus monument, there's more important matters than a tumble with the Ragin Cajun.

 

* * *

 

Afternoon practice goes longer than usual with the sun setting and stadium lights flickering on before Coach Darkholme turns them loose.

Back in the locker room, with the smell of sweaty girl and sports bras laying around, Jubilee says, "Is it just me or is Coach Darkholme a little more psychotic than usual?"

"I use to think she was crazy," Ororro adds, "But now that I'm a junior I think Stockholm Syndrome has set in."

Jean's already in her street clothes, ready to meet up with Scott for their under-the-shirt study session, when she leans against her locker and explains, "It's because of the Xavier monument. She got a lot of flack for it being stolen. Dean Xavier thinks she's escalating the feud between our schools just to push for more national recognition." 

"But isn't that good for the school and the football program?" Rogue asks. More recognition means more news coverage, means more nationally televised games, means better draft prospects, means better recruiting, means more money for the university. Win, win as long as the team keeps on winning.

"This is a place of higher learning Rogue. Our focus should be on academics."

"If you didn't have a 162.8 quarterback rating, I would punch you in the crotch right now."

"All right listen up." Coach Darkholme's stalks into the locker room, demanding both attention and compliance. "As you're all aware last night someone sneaked onto our campus and stole our school's treasured Xavier monument."

"Isn't that the one we hang boxer briefs on during Homecoming?"

Without glancing, Coach flicks one of her pens at the idiot player dumb enough to talk while she's talking. "This one hundred year old statue was stolen from under our noses ladies. Now, I've been instructed by the Dean of this fine university to warn you against retaliating. We have a big game coming up Saturday and I want you focusing on the field."

There's a general chorus of moans and agreement before Coach continues.

"That being said. I don't want you assholes letting those Stark Avengers get away with defacing our school. My ancestors helped found this university and their antics were equivalent to digging up my great-great-grandmother's casket and shitting in her mouth." The team's defensive coordinator and quarterback coach drop a clunky black bag in front of Coach Darkholme. "Today ladies, I'm going to teach you in the great art of revenge." She bends down and takes out the bag's first object. "This is a machete."

 

* * *

 

"So what's the plan?" Rogue asks. Art Studio is the only class she shares with Emma; weirdly it's not the only class where Rogue spends a large amount of her time looking at some dude's dick. Are you suppose to draw the penis? 

"Tomorrow night, one am in parking lot E." Emma says. She's not actually drawing the male model with his cowboy hat and cigar but instead, making jagged mountain shapes that look both phallic and diamond like. 

"But the next day is the game." Rogue, like most players, has a pre-game ritual that she tries to follow. An egg sandwich at 9pm, shotgunning two beers at 9:30, frantic praying for fifteen minutes and then fucking Remy until she falls asleep. So far her commitment to routine has resulted in a spotless record.

"It'll only be a few of us. Most of these idiots only came to college because of a freak skill that gives them the ability to run the forty in under 10 seconds. I'm not going to trust them with this."

Rogue attempts to draw the man's beard before submitting to just putting little dots on his face for the facial hair. "I'm not sure this is the right way to go about this."

"Listen Rogue, I spent 8 years at an all girls boarding school. I think I know a little something about tearing out your opponents heart and pulverizing their morale until they cry themselves to sleep listening to My Chemical Romance."

Rogue's a little concerned about the manical glint in her co-captains eye but she shrugs it off. Lady does have a point.

 

* * *

 

"Why do I have the feeling just holding this could get me expelled?" Orroro asks. Nether less, she starts throwing the ninja stars until one lands dangerously close to Kitty's foot.

"Why am I here again?" Kitty questions. As one of the football team's designated nerds, she usually only sees the players when handing over their homework

"We might need a computer hacker," Ororo supplies in a very matter of fact voice.

"Why'd would we need a hacker?" Rogue asks. She's in all black as like the rest of the group but she's the only one smart enough to bring gloves. She's seen them catch people on CSI with one fingerprint: Rogue isn't going down like that. "We're stealing a mascot not breaking into Fort Knox."

"Fort what?"

"Focus people." It's a little strange to see Emma in all black, even her straight blonde hair is hidden by a black stocking cap. "I want radio silence until our ride gets here."

Although it's not radio silence, the group quiets down as they wait. A couple of minutes later, with Maroon 5 blasting, car horn honking and brights on, Tabitha and Jubilee barrel their way down the road.

"Amateurs," Emma mutters.

The van is dented, scrapped, repainted and might as well have free candy written on the sides. As Tabitha stops the car, Jubilee swings open the back door and asks, "Everyone ready for an asskicking?"

The group starts jumping into the van and is all ready yo go when they hear, "Wait up!" from across the field. In perfect 80's slo mo Jean comes running. She jumps into the back of the truck, patting Emma on the shoulder as she sits down on the grime encrusted floor.

"I thought revenge was beneath you?" Emma asks with enough ice to lend credence to her surname.

"Please," Jean says. "I'm Captain of this team and as captain it's my duty to ensure our team's reputation. I was just disagreeing for a little thing called plausible deniability. Look it up." 

"Just because Scott is pre-law," Tabitha shouts from the drivers seat.

"Whatever losers, let's go."

 

* * *

 

Stark University offers students a liberal arts education while nestled within a thriving metropolis. You'll be proud to be a part of a long tradition of academics and Division I athletics here at Stark University. Go Avengers!

At least that's what the shiny brochure had told Rogue before she dumped it in the trash. It's not that Stark University is bad; it's top ranked for foreign relations and has produced more ambassadors than any other school in the country. But Stark University is almost so good you have to hate them. If you're a student or alumni you love the place. You talk about having New York as your campus, the dorms transformed from Brownstones or the top of the line equipment you work with. You have hats and scarves and golf bags with the schools proud 'A' symbol embodied on them. Chances are, you're also kind of a dick.

At least that's Rogue's view and why she had chosen Xavier University. Plus, Stark's football team was notorious for being all offensive firepower with the defense just needing to do enough not to lose the game. As a Safety, Rogue wanted to be on a team that knows defenses are what win championships. 

Even with all that, she's still a little impressed as they drive up to the campus.

"So the plan exactly is....what?" Kitty asks. She's become increasingly worried as the back of the van focused more on downing the bottle of raspberry vodka Jubilee had brought (none for Tabitha as she was driving and piloted erratically as it was) rather than focusing on what they were going to do once they reached Stark University.

"Their mascot, it's their mascot," Ororro slurs. "Gotta get it. Gotta get them all."

"What she said," Jubilee chimes in.

Kitty is the one who points out, "But isn't their mascot a dude? He's not like a goat or something that we could steal. 

The group thinks about this. The Stark mascot is the Avenger, some dude who dresses up in the school's colors of red, white and blue. He carries a ridiculous shield and gets the crowd excited before the game by running out and throwing it onto the star painted in the center of the field. 

"We steal the costume then," Rogue says. "They can't have a mascot without a costume."

The group toasts with another round of vodka.

 

* * *

 

The plan turns out to be more complicated than it should be.

"Is this asshole just going to sleep in the fucking costume?"

While Tabitha and Jubilee keep watch in the van, the rest of the group finds themselves outside the mascot's fraternity house. Creeping in the bushes, the five girls look through the mascots open window as he practices moves in his mirror. 

"He's not half bad looking," Orroro says. The guy is blond and chiseled with the muscles to fill out the uniform. "Do we have to kill him?"

"We're not killing him," Jean says. 

Rogue glances at her cell phone. "We gotta get back soon. What do we do?"

"I'm thinking," Emma says and purses her lips. "Anyone have a tranquilizer dart?"

Rogue looks around, noticing that one of their members is missing. "Y'all where's Kitty?" 

Beyond the Avenger's mascots range of sight, the bedroom door creaks open. Kitty's ponytailed head sneaks through, giving a thumbs up to the group before slipping inside the room. In her hand is the brightly colored shield the mascot brandishes during games. Kitty takes three tip toeing steps before taking the shield and knocking the guy out cold. 

"Booyah," Ororo says into the night air. "Now who's glad I invited the nerd?"

 

* * *

 

Getting a 200 pound unconscious mascot into the back of the van is a easier than Rogue would have expected. Jubilee pops out a roll of duct tape and gets his legs and arms safely wrapped. They stuff him in the middle of the van with Kitty keeping a stun gun on the target. The nerd has hidden depths.

"He is still breathing right?"

Jean takes two fingers to his neck. "Steady pulse, will probably just wake up with a headache."

"We'll just make sure to have a beer ready for him," Emma says and cracks open Heineken.

"Where'd you get that?" Jubilee asks. 

Emma hands one to her and tosses another to Ororo. "I stole them from the fridge." 

Jean takes one for her herself. After cracking it open she holds the beer over the Avengers mascot's unconscious body and toasts with their school's motto. "Onward Xavier!"

"Onward Xavier!"

  

* * *

 

"So what are we going to do with him now?" Tabitha asks once they pull back onto Xavier's school grounds.

Emma shrugs. "I'm sure we'll figure out something."

 

* * *

 

"Oh yeah," Emma says. "This is perfect."

Instead of the metal X statue Stark University had stolen, there's a strung up Avenger with his arms and legs mimicking the X pose. It's a little like the Vitruvian Man but they've kept him clothed in the Avengers mascot costume. A gorgeous sunrise lights up the New York sky and makes for a picture worthy of a recruitment brochure.

"Well done ladies," Jean says. "We should probably be getting some sleep though, important game today."

Ororo hands her half-finished beer to Kitty. "Here you go, it's your job to look after the mascot. Give him something to drink when he wakes up and make sure he doesn't freeze to death."

"Why me?" Kitty asks as the rest of the team starts heading back to their dorms.

"Because you're the nerd. You did good today but we have a game to play in-" Ororo glances at her watch. "Huh, five hours." 

The team shares a look, weighing their options and level of drunkeness.

"We could go home and get two hours of sleep?" Jubilee says. 

"Or," Rogue suggests. "We could go back to the house, drink some Irish coffee, puke a little and get over to the training field early." 

"I do want to run a couple more deep pass routes with you Jubilee," Jean mentions. The team starts discussing strategy and their first fifteen scripted plays. They hand their beers to Kitty and head towards the field.

"Don't let him die." Ororo reminds Kitty before jogging to catch up with the rest of the team.

Kitty, valedictorian, straight A student who's never even got a detention, sighs and looks up at the bound man. About an hour later, the mascot stirs. He cracks open an eye that's partly covered by the costume's cowl.

"Hi, I'm Kitty. You want a beer?"

 

* * *

 

Coach Darkholme enters the training facility an hour before the team is scheduled to arrive. She likes a cup of coffee, one last chance to review her playbook and about ten minutes to shut her office door and visualize victory. Instead of an empty field though, she finds a handful of her starting team scrimmaging, yelling at each other to tighten up coverage or increase pressure. 

"Hey coach," Jubilee greets when she chases after an errant ball.

"Jubilee, any reason for the early morning workout?"

"Want to be sharp for Stark U. Gotta beat those Avengers."

"Onward Xavier," the coach says on autopilot. Words she grew up on, words she repeated as Captain during her undergrad and words she now instills into her team.

"Onward Xavier!" Jubilee repeats before running back to the group.

"Into the locker room!" Coach Darkholme finally yells. "I don't want you idiots getting injured before the biggest game of the year."

"Yes coach," they chorus.

Satisfied she still has control over her team, Coach Darkholme marches into her office. She'll just send a quick text to Charles and advise him to ready legal council.

 

* * *

 

Somewhere in an ivy tower, Dean Charles Xavier gets a call.

"Hello Pepper."

"Charles."

Their schools may be rivals but they are grownups and are perfectly capable of having an adult conversation. 

"You stole our mascot you pretentious asshole."

"You started it."

They both take deep breaths and Charles looks over to his Assistant Dean. Erik, because Erik has an awful sense of humor, smiles.

"Without admitting any wrongdoing that could result in litigation," Pepper says from her post at Stark University. "Your statue might have found it's way to our school grounds." 

"Coincidentally, your mascot wandered to our side of the city and will be put on the first bus back. Have a good day." Charles does not slam the phone but does do it quick enough to ensure he gets the last word in.

"Very evolved Charles," Erik says. The assistant dean has ditched his traditional suit, wearing jeans and a faded Xavier University shirt that Charles is pretty sure is a holdover from their undergrad days. 

"Next time I'll allow you to handle Ms. Potts." Charles says with a grin. "Come along old friend. I want to get there in time to grab a hot dog before kickoff." 

"Of course Charles," Erik says. He grabs his coat and holds open the door for Charle's wheelchair. "Onward Xavier."

Charles smiles. Thinking of ivy and oak; morning class and afternoon lectures; kickoff and friendships that lasted a lifetime; Charles repeats. "Onward Xavier."


End file.
